We are all storytellers. Not about others — about ourselves.
"I'm the type who always gives too much." "I'm not good at close relationships." "I'm too much."
These stories feel like truths. But they are constructions — interpretations we have made of our experiences. And constructions can be changed.
This is the core of narrative therapy, developed by Michael White and David Epston.
The problem is not you — it's the story
Narrative therapy separates the person from the problem. You are not an angry person. You have a relationship with anger that sometimes takes over.
It sounds like a small difference. But it opens something.
When the problem is separated from you, you can look at it from the outside. You can examine it. You can choose a different relationship with it.
Dominant stories
Everyone has dominant stories — the narratives that define who we think we are. Often they are formed in childhood and reinforced over time.
"I'm the responsible one." "I'm the one who is never good enough." "I'm the one who doesn't belong."
These stories filter our experiences. We notice what confirms them. We overlook what contradicts them.
Unique exceptions
Narrative therapy looks for exceptions — the times when the story doesn't fit.
If you believe you never set boundaries — when have you? If you believe you're not good at love — when have you shown love?
These exceptions are building blocks for a new story.
An alternative story
Narrative therapy is not about replacing a negative story with a positive one. It's about creating a more nuanced and true story.
One that has room for complexity. For growth. For the fact that you are more than your hardest moments.
Questions for reflection What dominant story do you tell about yourself? When doesn't it fit? What alternative story would you tell if you could?
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